The Unseen Entanglements.

Do you ever feel the need to stop yourself from doing something? Don’t worry were not going to get bleak, I think. This is about how I get in my own way and stop myself from being happy or feeling much because I let depression become the main emotion at times. I mean it is not simple and I don’t say “alright depression your gonna take up most of my day, aren’t you lucky”, no it’s more of I am unaware and it slowly seeps in my day.

What I am going to share is about a light hearted predicament that I went through a few years back in college when things were semi on campus. So there was this person I befriended even if it felt kind of odd. Anyways, this person was kind to me unlike many others that judged or avoided me entirely. He was a nice friend that let me be myself rather than complain about how I acted or why I seemed skeptic of things.

So I became accustomed to hanging out with him during class and slowly had feelings for this person and I told myself that before the classes end, I would tell him how I felt. This was very daring and big for me as the last time I really told someone I liked them was in my late high school years. Eventually, I found the courage to tell him and as per usual like the times before, this person didn’t feel the same. I was sad and cried a bit after that but it is not like I was in love, nope, just had a crush on this person. I wasn’t expecting a date or reciprocation of feelings. Though getting a straight forward “I am not interested in you romantically but I am glad we’re friends”, would of helped ease things.

There are times when I wonder what it would be like if I mainly functioned on happy thoughts and positive thinking. Then I realize, it might be harder for me to grasp the seriousness of a situation or notice certain things if I were always that way. This is not to say that I don’t want to be happy because I do appreciate what I have in and who I have in my life. Though things in my mind are not always so simple. This is why I have to fill my head with a long list of good thoughts because my default is usually the negative or least optimistic.

Questions:

– How can you lessen the way that anxiety, depression or other mental health issues from stopping you in doing different things in your life?

– What are your feelings on those who see you for who you are and not what they might expect of you?

– When do you realize your emotions have affect over your day and how do you deal with it?

*Please feel free to ask me anything about this post as these questions are just promptings of thoughts which crossed my mind but I enjoy knowing others perspectives even if they differ from my own.*